Random thoughts & things

Celebrations (and brain mush)

I did it!

Last weekend I handed in my hypnotherapy diploma – 68 pages of blood, sweat and tears. Over 21,000 words in total.

I can’t remember the last time I worked so hard. It was a relentless round-the-clock effort with 6.15 starts and 11.00pm finishes, and as for the Jubilee bank holiday…what Jubilee bank holiday? It was me and my PC for 4 days solid (and neither of us felt like celebrating).

By the time I got to the end and typed my last word, my brain was mush. All I could think about was getting though the 9th Module in London, handing my work in and heading home for a few days off. Bliss!

Only it didn’t quite work out like that.

I woke up on Monday morning expecting to be consumed by the blissful knowledge that I wouldn’t have to look at the computer screen or another hypnotherapy book for several days. The reality was, I got up late…read a few magazines…gazed out the window…listened to a hypnosis CD…and then sat on the sofa for a while wondering what was wrong. It was then that it dawned on me I was bored! And worse, I actually missed working on my HPD!

What kind of freak am I?!

I pondered this revelation. And it all became clear: For the past 5 years I have been feeling more and more run down, demotivated and burnt out. The solution, I thought, was a 3-month sabbatical, preferably in Barbados or somewhere similarly exotic, where I could recharge my batteries and get myself back on track.

But it turns out I wasn’t so much burnt out as BORED! The HPD gave me a reason to get up each morning. I had a purpose. I was on a mission. I applied myself 100% for the first time in years and my brain liked it! I felt alive!

Do I miss working from 6.15am to 11.00pm? No, I can do without that in my life thank you very much. But I do miss having a mission and feeling determined, challenged and stimulated.

I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do with this knowledge. But one thing’s for certain – when I visualise my life from now on it will not include years spent idly lying by a pool because I know it’s not for me. I can do some idling, sure, but without mental stimulation I am unfocused, unhappy and lethargic. My brain needs things to get its teeth into.

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